I used to like a girl when I was 11. Did confess but was told to wait and see. After that we lost touch. Feeling was too intense. Was advised to go chatroom to make new frens. Found her after 3 years. Wanted to confess again but my bestie at that time became her boyfriend. Endured almost a year seeing them together. Got beaten up once they broke up. Thought I was the one who initiate. Lost contact with her for 12 years. Feeling become infatuation. Felt a void in my heart. Every failed dating attemp dug the hole in my heart deeper. Contacted her in 2015 to ask for her contact details. Was told I was just an acquaintance. Spiraled me into depression. Felt more desperate to cover the void in my heart. Met a lady in 2017. Initially she was in a relationship but we remain friends. When she broke up, I went to confess to her. After dating for 6 months, gt engaged for 2 years and married for almost 5 years till this day. Tried to be happy about my marriage. But shadows come back once in a while. Pain got worse everytime. Been wanting to let go from this curse. But stuck in the railways of my heart. Been bottling up for the longest time. Only today I reveal this anonymous. Hope I can eventually forget my 1st monkey infatuation and live forward
Sincerely
VX