I want to be closer to my dad, but I don’t want to at the same time. He’s never really close with us emotionally, and he’s mostly in his room either working or sleeping. I’d see him a lot, and it’s not like he had abandoned us, but our relationship is not as close as me and my brother have with my mother. He’s like a person that just known me since my childhood, but I have no strong feelings towards him. He’s close to me, yes, but in a way that I know that he’s just there. Spectating. I don’t miss him- I can go weeks, or even months without seeing him. But, with my mom, I’d be a wreck without a call from her after 3 hours of being separated. Can you see the difference? It hurts, and I don’t know what to do. I want to change, I want him to change, but at the same time, I’m fine with it.

I want to be closer to my father, but I don’t want to at the same time.